The title of Eddie Ndopu’s memoir, Sipping Dom Pérignon Through a Straw: Reimagining Success as a Disabled Achiever, appears to be a metaphor for the way that disabled people need to constantly advocate for accessibility in a world that is not designed for them in mind. Ndopu’s memoir shares the story of his time attending Oxford University while pursuing a Master of Public Policy, where he spends a significant amount of time and energy fighting for access to care and accommodations – something that isn’t necessary for non-disabled students. Over and over again, Ndopu illustrates how disabled people are often expected to publicly embody success and inspiration, while privately fighting for the support they need. He highlights this dynamic when he tells the story of a care aide who moves his body without consent during a fire alarm. An hour later, Ndopu has to give a campaign speech for student body president.
But, as Ndopu reveals, the act of sipping champagne through a straw is not meant to be a metaphor for overcoming obstacles. Rather, it’s a reminder “that another more extraordinary and jaw-dropping way of existing” is possible.
Ndopu invites readers to imagine a world reordered in more fabulous and inclusive ways than most non-disabled people could envision. Sipping Dom Pérignon Through a Straw holds the tension between both disabled realities and futures, reminding us that disabled people are complex. Ndopu joyfully celebrates with his family and friends upon his acceptance to Oxford, while also facing mounting costs that non-disabled people wouldn’t experience. Ndopu is a Black, queer, disabled person and the first African disabled person to graduate from Oxford. He details his experiences with ableism, racism, and classism during his time at the school, including the university’s reluctance to cover care expenses and laws that limit his bodily autonomy.
Ndopu lives with a neurodegenerative disorder that requires full-time care that is not provided for as part of the scholarship for his living expenses. This memoir is about reimagining our ways of existing to include all of the complexity of who we are – a future where access is a given, rather than a request.
Constant advocacy takes a significant emotional toll. Thorough the book, Ndopu advocates for disability access with poise (and a touch of sequins!), but in private, the stress of not having enough financial support for his care and the lack of autonomy imposed by his caregivers weighs on him, causing physical symptoms of stress and even neglect.
This book is such an important read as it outlines the incredibly taxing logistical challenges like navigating inaccessible spaces and the lack of structural support. These logistical challenges often lead to impacted outcomes in education, employment, and healthcare for disabled people. While Ndopu highlights these structural barriers, he also invites readers to dream of a future where the complexity of disabled people is honored and valued.
One of my favorite aspects of this book is the way that Ndopu talks about his friendships. An important part of reimagining success for disabled people is rethinking the nature of community and friendship. Those relationships can demonstrate what true advocacy, joy, and support look like. Friendship can also be deeply vulnerable, as it is for Ndopu. He talks about his group of five Oxford friends – the squad – who all graduated from the African Leadership Academy, a boarding school that recruits young African leaders from ages 16 to 19. These friends see him in all of his complexity, and they support and advocate alongside him. Reflecting on a squad dinner, he writes, “These were the moments that made life worth living – the simple pleasures of good food and good company that created lasting memories. It felt so good to be with people who genuinely wanted to assist me, who cared for me wholeheartedly and not begrudgingly” (116). Ndopu’s friends help him navigate ongoing battles for funding, and demand equity by his side. In one particularly powerful note in a photo caption, Ndopu reflects that he attends his Oxford graduation for his friends, for the community that supported him. True friendship and care, he reminds us, sees and embraces all of who we are.
Eddie Ndopu’s memoir shows us that disabled people are not limited to one expression. For Ndopu, embracing all aspects of his identity – Black, queer, disabled, and fabulous – is vital. This book reminds us (or perhaps teaches us for the first time) that disability is a way of engaging with the world that is beautiful and powerful, and that disabled people are full of deep joy.
10 out of ten sparkle emojis – highly recommend.